Kids' Jokes for Foolio, Delayed Edition

I forgot to post the kids' jokes from last week's edition of Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime (and I wasn't able to make it to today's show), but better late than never...

"How can a chichken get across the road when cars are coming?"
"Wait until its turn!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Are you an owl, Foolio?"

"Why did nobody cross the road?"
"Because nobody was in the town!"

"What do you call Foolio and Fritz surfing?"
"A hot dog with sauerkraut!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Chicken."
"Chicken who?"
"Chicken ran away!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
[dead silence]
"Nobody!"

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?"
"Because it didn't have the guts!"

"Why is velociraptor the fastest dinosaur?"
"Because it's the smallest!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To get to the other side!"

"Why did the pencil roll down the road?"
"To get to Pennsylvania!"

"Who stole the soap out of the bathroom?"
"Robber ducky!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"So it could get run over by a car!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio, 11-01

Today's assortment of jokes from the kids attending Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime. (Foolio was wearing a Santa cap...because if Christmas decorations the day after Halloween are good enough for the stores, they're good enough for Foolio. This explains the abundance of Christmas-themed jokes in today's show.)

"How do you explode a dinosaur?"
"With dino-mite!"

"Why did Foolio eat Christmas?"
"Because Christmas is yummy!"

"Why do sharks only swim in salt water?"
"Because pepper water makes them sneeze!"

"Why did the nightmare go out before Christmas?"
"Because it was the Nightmare Before Christmas!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

"What did the insect say at Christmas?"
"Bah, humbug!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Turnip."
"Turnip who?"
"Turnip the heat, I'm freezing!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 10-18

Today's assortment of jokes from the kids attending "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime" (including a shout-out to new character Jambles the Donkey, seen on the poster below):

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"
"Police."

"Police who?"

"Police sent Foolio away!"

----

"Why did Jambles cross the road?"

"Because he was like 'Hee-haw!'"

----

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Candy."

"Candy who?"
"Candyman ice cream!"

----

"Why did the rocket go into space?"
"Because it wanted to see an octopus!"

----

"Why did Jambles go into a rocket?"
"Cause he wanted to go to Mars!"

----

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cow."

"Cow who?"
"Moo!"

----

"Why did the frog cross the road?"

"Because he was pinned to the chicken!"

----

"What's a ghost's favorite fruit?"
"Boo-berries!"

----

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"

"Leaf."
"Leaf who?"
"Leaf me alone!"

----

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"
"Orange."

"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad it's your birthday?"

----

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"

"Turnip."

"Turnip who?"

"Turnip the heat, it's freezing up here!"

----

"Where do you find a dog with no legs?"
"Right where you left him!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 10-11

From today's Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime:

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Cause the dragon popped up over the hill!"

"What kind of music do mummies listen to?"
"Wrap music!"

"What did the dinosaur say after the car accident?"
"I'm the sorest!"

"Why don't mummies watch scary movies?"
"Because they don't have any guts!"

"Why was the farmer running away?"
"Because he was getting chased by the pigs!"

"Why was the tree talking?"
"Because it was an idiot!"

"Why did the tree fall over mommy?"
"Because it was also an idiot!"

"Why did the vampire cross the road?"
"Because he was pooped!"

"Why did the snail cross the road?"
"So he could go get connected with the vampire!"

"What kind of cat should you never play cards with?"
"A cheetah! Because it cheats!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 9-27

Well, today marked the return of Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime at Dad's Garage, and with it the return of that irrepressible joker, Foolio...and the jokes told by kids in return.

Today's assortment of jokes from the kids:

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Mill."
"Mill who?"
"Mill be sad 'cause your mom's here!"

"Why couldn't Andy Candy open a bakery?"
"Because he couldn't raise the dough!"

"Why did the chicken cross the playground?"
"Because he wanted to get to the other slide!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dwayne."
"Dwayne who?"
"Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!"
(This joke was spoiled...or perhaps improved...when Andy Candy repeated it with "Drain" in place of "Dwayne.")

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"I am!"

"What flavor is furniture?"
"Chair-y!"

"Why did the chicken cross the other road?"
"So he could make some dough out of bacon!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"George Washington."
"George Washington who?"
"You don't know who George Washington is?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Why are you crying, Foolio?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Foolio."
"Foolio who?"
"Foolio's everywhere!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio: TTFN

Today was the final edition of Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime of the season, so until it returns in the fall, here's the last installment of the Kids' Jokes for Foolio:

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Weenie."
"Weenie who?"
"Weenie who went into a basket!"

"What do you get when you cross a chicken, a poodle, and a cow?"
"Cockapoodlemoo!"

"Why did Foolio attack Phineas?"
"Because they're both the same!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Foolio."
"Foolio who?"
"Foolio has a snake on his head!"

"Why didn't the toilet cross the road?"
"Because it was pooped!"

"What did the dog say to the tree?"
"Bark!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because it wasnted to go to kindergarten and the second grade at once!"

"What fish lives in Heaven?"
"An angelfish!"

"A deer, a duck, and a skunk go into a restaurant. The deer said he didn't have a buck, the skunk said he didn't have a scent, so they put it on the duck's bill."

"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?"
"So he wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate!"

Catching Up with Foolio & the Kids

Even though I haven't gotten around to posting them for a few weeks, I've still been dutifully recording the kids' awesome jokes from Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime, so now I'll be making up for lost time. And away we go!

3-29

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To save the world!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Sorry, I don't speak owl language."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"So he could get a donut for the ostrich!"

"Why didn't the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he was chicken!"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?"
"I have no idear."

"Why kind of shoes do you make out of bananas?"
"Slippers!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow."
"Interrup--"
"MOO!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Little old lady."
"Little old lady who?"
"I didn't know you could yodel."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"So it could get hit by a car!"

"When is it a good time to go to the dentist?"
"Tooth hurty!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Don't cry, it's only a crying petition."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because it had to go to the bathroom!"

4-5

"How do you know when a train is eating?"
"It goes 'chew chew'!"

"What kind of jam can you not eat?"
"A traffic jam!"

"Why did the clock go around the town?"
"Because he wanted to go to the dinosaur museum!"

"Why did the dinosaur cross the road?"
"To get to the other side!"

"How do you know when a tree is eating?"
"Because they don't eat anything!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because they don't eat anything!"

"Why did the eagle eat the fish?"
"Because he wanted him for dinner!"

"Why did Foolio cross the road?"
"To get to the trashcan with his jokebook!"

"Because he didn't want to!" (no set-up, just a punchline)

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cow."
"Cow who?"
"No, cow MOO!"

4-12

"Why did the cross cross the road?"
"Because he went on egg!"

"Dinosaurs weren't hit by meteors, they actually bumped into the moon!"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7?"
"Because 7 8 9!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"I don't know!"

"I just flew in from London, and boy, are my arms tired!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say apple?"

"What did the quarter say to the other quarter?"
"Will you marry me, mama goo goo?"

"Why were the stuffed animals at the birthday party not hungry?"
"Because they were stuffed!"

"What happened when the pig was injured?"
"He went in the hambulance!"

"Do you want to hear a construction joke?"
"Sure!"
"Well, I'm still working on it."

"Why did the turkey not want to take a plane to Colorado?"
"Because it was two blocks down the road, duh!"

4-19

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To get a penny out of the floor!"

"Why are bananas never lonely?"
"Because they hang out in bunches!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"T. Rex."
"T. Rex who?"
"T. Rex eat you!"

"What did one duck say to the other?"
"You quack me up!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Tom Sawyer."
"Tom Sawyer who?"
"Tom saw yer underwear!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Volcano."
"Volcano who?"
"Volcano explode!"

"When do you put whipped cream on sauerkraut?"
"At the end of the show!"
(If you've ever seen Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime, you'll understand.)

"How do you make a tissue dance?"
"You put a little boogie in it!"

"Why did the dog cross the road?"
"Because he was jumping on the train!"

"Where do you find a cold pirate?"
At the Arrr-tic!"

"Why do cows go to the movies?"
"Because it's the moo-vies!"

"What does an alien say to a gardener?"
"Take me to your weeder!"

"What do cats say when they get hurt?"
"Me-Ow!"

"Why did Foolio stick his hand in the volcano?"
"To get burned up!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 3-22

I had to miss the past couple of weeks of "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime," but I was able to make it out there today...so here is the return of Kids' Jokes for Foolio!

"Foolio, you're a chicken!"

"Why did the bubble gum cross the road?"
"Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he wanted to get to the fence on the other side!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Juan."
"Juan who?"
"Juan day, I'll get a cat of my own."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he felt like it!"

"Why did the elephant cross the road?"
"To get to the chicken!"

"Why did the elephant cross the playground?"
"To run off the cliff, to get away from Foolio's jokes!"

"Why did the pig cross the road?"
"He was stuck on some gum!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio, 3-1

Today's jokes from the kids at "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime":

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because it wants to jump way up high!"

"What do you call a snail on a boat?"
"A snailor!"

"What goes 100 miles an hour, is ugly and green and red?"
"Foolio on a windshield!"

"What do you call a bear eating sharks?"
"A shark-eater!"

"How many cheapskates does it take to change a light bulb?"
"None! They sit in the dark!"

"What did one hedgehog say to the other hedgehog?"
"Bawk bawk!"

"Why did the turkey cross the road?"
"To get to the other side!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Don't cry!"

"Why did the cookie go to the doctor?"
"Because it was sick!"

"What did one quarter say to the other quarter?"
"I love you goo-goo!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio, 2-23

Today's assortment of jokes and observations from the kids at "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime":

"I have a dinosaur named Roast Beef."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he went to the other side and he got some flowers."

"Why couldn't the pirate go to the movie?"
"It was rated Arrr!"

"Why did Jive Turkey cross the road?"
"To get away from Foolio!"

"What do you get when you cross a Jedi Knight with a toad?"
"Star Warts!"

"How did the Firebird get to the movie?"
"Cause he had a broken arm!"

"Why did Ivan go the the movie?"
"Because he wanted to see a song!"

"A rocket went to a planet and then the aliens ate the rocket."

"Why did the scooter go into the woods by itself?"
"Because it had no people on it, and something something water."

"Why did the bee have sticky hair?"
"Because he used a honeycomb!"

"Why did the chicken go to the movies?"
"He wanted to see the singing cow!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio: 2-16

Today's assortment of jokes from the kids to Foolio:

"What is it time for when the elephant sits on the fence?"
"Time to get a new fence!"

"What's a chicken's favorite composer?"
"Bach!"

"Why did the giraffe cross the road?"
"Because he was in love with the elephant!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To get more fattening!"

"What has four wheels and flies?"
"A garbage truck!"

"Why did the cowboy wear the cowboy hat?"
"So he could wrestle the cows!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Juicy."
"Juicy who?"
"D'you see when I saw Lucy?"

"Where did the fish go to the doctor?"
"To the dock!"

"Why did the dinosaur cross the road?"
"Because the chicken was off-duty!"

"Why did Foolio cross the road?"
"To get his 99-cent jokebook!"

"Why did the dinosaur cross the road?"
"Because he was full!"

"Why did the cookie go to the doctor?"
"It was feeling crumby!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio: The Jokening

Today marked the return of "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime" at Dad's Garage, and with it, the return of Foolio! So, let's get straight to the kids' jokes!

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Chickenhead."
"Chickenhead who?"
"Chicken!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Snake."
"Snake who?"
"Snake on you!"

"Why did the green car take out the light?"
"None! He could see in the dark!"

"Where do the bees go to the bathroom?"
"To the BP station!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Foolio's crying 'cause his jokes are so terrible!"

"Why do goats have bells?"
"Because their horns don't work!"

"How was spaghetti invented?"
"Someone used their noodle!"

"Why did the turtle cross the road?"
"To get to the Shell station!"

"Why did the elephant cross the road?"
"It was the chicken's day off!"

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?"
"He didn't have the guts!"

"What's a pig's favorite karate move?"
"A pork chop!"

"Why does Fritz cross the road?"
"Because they have glasses!"

"If there's a car called the Taurus, why isn't there a car called the Hare?"

"Would you remember me in a year?"
"Yes."
"Would you remember me in five years?"
"Yes."
"Would you remember me in ten years?"
"Yes."
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"See, you forgot me already!"

"What loses its head in the morning and gets it back at night?"
"A pillow!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he fell on top of the schoolhouse!"

"Why did the pigeon cross the road?"
"Because he wanted to see a snake!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio: Farewell for Now

From yesterday's "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime," the last bunch of jokes from the kids until the show returns in February. (Until then, you can bask in the bad-joke glory that is Foolio at his MySpace page.)

Take it away, kids!

"Why did the lion get on Foolio?"
"Because the lion gets him!"

"What food is good for your eyes?"
"Fred! Get it? Fred!"

"What does a ghost call ice cream?"
"Ice scream!"

"What time is it when Foolio tells a good joke?"
"The end of the world!"

"Why was the dog hot?"
"Because it was a hot dog!"

"Why did the dog cross the road?"
"Because he wanted a bone!"

"Why did the chicken cross the street?"
"Because it was the chicken's day off!"

"What did the cat say when it got its favorite fish dinner?"
"Purr-fect!"

"Why was Foolio named Foolio?"
"Because he was fooled by a chicken!"

"What looks like a cat but isn't a cat?"
"A kitten!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Atch."
"Atch who?"
"Gesundheit!"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7?"
"Because 7 ate 9."

"Why did the lion jump on Foolio?"
"Because Foolio's a pickle!"

"Hey Foolio, you got a pickle on your head!"

"Why did the stegosaurus devour the factory?"
"Because it was a plant-eater!"

"What did the pig say when his side hurt?"
"Oh, my achin' bacon!"

"How many animals did Moses bring on the ark?"
"None! It was Noah!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 11-10

The kids had a lot of jokes today, and they wouldn't let Larry get back to the show until they'd told them all.

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bird."
"Bird who?"
"Bird that ate a banana."

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"You."
"You who?"
"I'm right here."

"A scary joke in a bottle!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Mississippi."
"Mississippi who?"
"Mississippi diaper pain."

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

"What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?"
"A Minnie-van!"

"What has four wheels and flies?"
"A garbage truck!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Don't cry, baby!"

"Flying wheels!"

"What do you get when you cross a skunk with macaroni?"
"Skunkaroni!"

"What did the mama ghost say to the baby ghost?"
"Stop gobblin' your food!"

"How did the chicken cross the road?"
"By rolling!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Banana why can't you get the truck?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow."
"Interrupting c--"
"MOO!"

"Why did the chicken cross the playground?"
"To get to the other slide!"

"What do you get when you cross a dog with a rose?"
"A collie-flower!"

"Why did the tree talk?"
"Because he's a cat!"

"How did the duck cross the road?"
"In a duck diaper!"

"Who crosses the road on his head?"
"Foolio, with a nut on his head!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Don't cry, it's only a joke!"

"Why did the castle fly?"
"Because he wanted to get to space!"

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?"
"He didn't have the guts!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 11-3

Today's installment of "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime" was of particular interest as an illustration of memes in action: After the first kid told his joke, almost all of the rest of them used variations of the same set-up. Here we go!

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he has a hair!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To get to Chik-Fil-A!"

"Why did the gum cross the road?"
"Because he wantes something sweet!"

"You could put an orange on your head and not have hair." (Observational humor, I guess...)

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To get to the other side!"

"Why did the man throw the clock out the window?"
"Because he wanted to see time fly!"

"Why did the cow cross the road?"
"To get to the moo-vies!"

"Why did the sun bounce off the glass?"
"Because he wanted to catch a mouse!"

"Why did the cow cross the road?"
"Because he got run over by a car!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio: Halloween Edition

Well, I've had a pretty busy day (and it's not over yet). This morning, Dad's Garage had their Halloween edition of Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime, with many of the kids coming in costume...including an awesome "Bride of Foolio" outfit worn by Allie, one of our most reliable regular patrons.

As usual, the kids brought their own jokes to outdo Foolio:

"Why was the castle free?"
"Because it was a candle!"

"Why did Luigi go to school?"
"Because he had pizzeria!" (a misremembering of one of last month's jokes)

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he wanted to go to sleep!"

"Why did the jump rope cross the road?"
"To get to the other slide!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"I didn't know you were an owl!"

"What do you call a flying skunk?"
"A stink-copter!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Ouch."
"Ouch who?"
"OUCH!"

"What do you call a bee who buzzes all around?"
"Busby!"

"Where does Darth Vader go to the mall?"
"Darth Mall!"

"Why did the eyeball fly?"
"To get to the other eyeball store!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Chicken."
"Chicken who?"
"Chicken got run over by a car!"

"Why weren't the pirate kids allowed in the movie theater?"
"Because it was rated Arrrr!"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter?"
"Arrrr!"


But Uncle Grampa wasn't the end of the Halloween festivities...from there, I went to the Plaza Theater for the matinee Silver Scream Spook Show, a monthly event showcasing classic B-movie fare (this month's offering: the legendary "Plan 9 from Outer Space") preceded by live entertainment by Professor Morte, Retch, and the rest of Morte's gang. There were a number of kids who came in costume...including the Bride of Foolio once again! Great fun for all. (One of my favorite parts: A dance number to a song that went "You're the coolest monster that ever spooked me out." Wish I knew who sang it...Google didn't help.)

And now, on to CB South for some Halloween karaoke...

Kids' Jokes for Foolio, 10-20

Today's assortment of jokes from the kids at Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime:

"What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?"
"Time to get a new fence!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Root beer."
"Root beer who?"
"Oh no! The flowers in America are getting drunk!"

"Why did the dog chew the wallet?"
"Because he wanted to eat it all day long."

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cargo."
"Cargo who?"
"Car go beep-beep!"

"What time is it when Foolio looks in the mirror?"
"Time to get a new mirror!"

"Why did the pig get fired?"
"Because his name was Porkchop!"

"Why did Foolio get stomped on by an elephant?"
"Because the elephant wanted to!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Leaf."
"Leaf who?"
"Leaf us alone, Foolio!"

"What time is it when you look into the ship?"
"Because it's time to look in the castle!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 10/13

Today's collection of jokes from the kids:

"Why did the jump rope kiss the jump rope?"
"Because it gets candy!"

"Why did the chicken get the leg?"
"Because he was asleep in his bed!"

"Where do boats go when they get sick?"
"To the dock!"

"What did the person say to the bed?"
"I sleep on you!"

"Why do cars crash into doors?"
"Because they get fooled by the doors!"

"What is brown & sticky?"
"A stick!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Soccer player."
"Soccer player who?"
"Soccer player just made a goal!"

"What's black and white and red all over?"
"A sunburned zebra!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Eyeball full of slime."
"Eyeball full of slime who?"
"Eyeball full of slime from the slime planet!"

"What do you call Larry when he doesn't take a bath?"
"Stinkerbell!"
(We learned after the show that the kid had actually said "What do you call a fairy when...", and that Gary Simmons misquoted him when repeating the joke for the house. Still...)

"What do you call a person who tells a lot of jokes?"
"The Joker!"

"Why do people eat hot dogs?"
"Because they don't eat animals!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
(all together now) "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 10/6

Today's installment of the kids' jokes for Foolio (or should I say "Foolios," considering that Stevie Weasel got infected by the Foolio Virus)...

"Why did the jump-rope go in the jump-rope?"
"Because they want to go 'jump-jump-jump-jump-jump-ja-jump...'" (In honor of this week's visitor, Mr. Jumps.)

"Why did the man get the leg?"
"Because he was asleep on the bed!"

"We want to do a play called 'Foolio and the Death of the Foolio Virus.'"

"Why did the orange roll halfway down the hill?"
"Because it ran out of juice!"

"Why did the banana go fruit?"
"Because it was fruit!"

"What wears lipstick and is a big fat cow?"
"Foolio!"

"Why did the dad throw the clock out the window?"
"Because he wanted to see time fly!"

"What do clams sing at Christmas?"
"Jingle Shells!"

"Why did the dad throw the dinosaur out the window?"
"Because he wanted to see it bonk its head on the ground!"

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 9-29

Today's assortment of gags from the kids at Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime:

"Why did the jump rope cross the road?"
"To get to the other slide."

"Why couldn't Bob open the piano?"
"Because the keys were inside."

"Why did the jump rope cross the road and jump into the tree?"
"Because it got hurt and it wanted to get hurt."

"Why couldn't Luigi go to school?"
"He had pizzeria!"

"Why did the chicken go from Paris, France to Kentucky?"
"Because he wanted to be Kentucky Fried Chicken."

"Why did the cookie go to the doctor?"
"To get some candy."

"Why did the chicken get in the way?"
"Because he got in the chicken, not pay."