Fish-Flavored Baseball Bat

It's a John Cleese reference.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008


From The great Luke Ski:

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Saturday, September 27, 2008

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 9-27

Well, today marked the return of Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime at Dad's Garage, and with it the return of that irrepressible joker, Foolio...and the jokes told by kids in return.

Today's assortment of jokes from the kids:

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Mill who?"
"Mill be sad 'cause your mom's here!"

"Why couldn't Andy Candy open a bakery?"
"Because he couldn't raise the dough!"

"Why did the chicken cross the playground?"
"Because he wanted to get to the other slide!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dwayne who?"
"Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!"
(This joke was spoiled...or perhaps improved...when Andy Candy repeated it with "Drain" in place of "Dwayne.")

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"I am!"

"What flavor is furniture?"

"Why did the chicken cross the other road?"
"So he could make some dough out of bacon!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"George Washington."
"George Washington who?"
"You don't know who George Washington is?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo who?"
"Why are you crying, Foolio?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Foolio who?"
"Foolio's everywhere!"

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

What I Sang 9-24

"Eyes Without a Face" by Billy Idol.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

VHS Vednesday: Certain Fury

CERTAIN FURY (1985). Directed by Stephen Gyllenhaal. Starring Tatum O'Neal, Irene Cara, and Peter Fonda.

Certain Fury opens with a truckload of prisoners being led into a courtroom, among them illiterate but streetwise prostitute Scarlet (Tatum O'Neal), charged with assault, and naive, well-to-do Tracy (Irene Cara), who was simply along for the ride in a boyfriend's stolen car. Things go from bad to worse when another prisoner, after distracting the entire room by breaking into song (!), slashes a bailiff's throat and grabs his gun. In the ensuing shoot-out, Scarlet and Tracy flee--initially to escape the violence, then out of fear that they'll be blamed (despite Tracy's reasonable protests that they're only making things worse for themselves). While hiding out, Scarlet and Tracy learn to overcome their differences and find some common ground.
The movie is a jumble of clashing times, it's clear that director Stephen Gyllenhaal is trying for a serious character study of the two fugitives, like a Defiant Ones for the '80s, but his efforts are undercut by an overabundance of exploitation elements, from the outrageous violence of the courtroom massacre to a gratuitous shower scene that segues into a squirm-inducing rape attempt. Given Gyllenhaal's superior later work in both film (A Dangerous Woman, Losing Isaiah) and television (Homicide: Life on the Streets, The Shield)...not to mention his having raised the dedicated, serious-minded talents Jake and Maggie...I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that the movie's more unsavory aspects were foisted upon him for marketability.
Who's Leaving This Off Their Resume?
While they might be embarrassed by the film itself, O'Neal and Cara turn in effective performances above the material. While the casting of fresh-faced Tatum O'Neal as the bitter hooker might seem like a laughable "Look-at-me-I'm-grown-up" effort from the former child star, she quickly settles into the character and makes it convincing. (Still looks too clean for the role, though.) Familiar faces George Murdock and Moses Gunn acquit themselves admirably as the cynical police detective and Tracy's concerned father, respectively. Peter Fonda, though prominently billed, pretty much just walks through a cameo appearance as Scarlet's dealer/pimp. However, the biggest embarrassment goes to young Nicholas Campbell, going way over the top as a strung-out, violent junkie.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Another Post for SallyP

Remembering SallyP's appreciation of the madness that is Mary Worth, I thought I'd share a couple of brilliant sites dedicated to the strip. (Yes, there's more than one.) In addition to the occasional MW roast at the all-encompassing Comics Curmudgeon and Daily Comics Review, I've just discovered the all-Mary-all-the-time blog Mary Worth and Me (how did I not find this one before)? Also, in the course of the strip's current identity-theft storyline, some twisted genius has set up a website for the fictitious! (Toby Cameron, beware!) It's a bonanza of meddlesomeness!

And, as a bonus for Sally, here's another DragonCon picture. He may not be a true Green Lantern, but I figured she'd like this shot of Power Ring with the Riddler.
(click picture to Power-up-size)

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Monday, September 22, 2008

A Post for SallyP

A picture from Dragon*Con, just because I thought Sally would enjoy it...

(click to Booster-size)

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

What I Sang 9-17

Last night's selection:

"Gold" by John Stewart.


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

VHS Vednesday: Between the Lines

BETWEEN THE LINES (1977). Directed by Joan Micklin Silver. Starring John Heard, Lindsay Crouse, and Jeff Goldblum.

Going a little more highbrow than usual this time: Between the Lines is an ensemble comedy/drama revolving around the intertwining personal and professional lives of the staff of a small alternative newspaper, faced with the choice of maintaining their own identity and going broke, or selling out to a corporate media mogul. Director Joan Micklin Silver (Hester Street, Crossing Delancey) maintains a strong hand on the many plot and character threads, weaving them together with Altmanesque skill. The screenplay by Fred Barron works as both a behind-the-scenes look at the "lower side" of the newspaper business and as a time-capsule of the changing zeitgeist.
Who's Leaving This Off Their Resume?
My usual headline doesn't really apply, as the entire cast does an outstanding job and has no reason to be embarrassed by the picture. Among the leads, John Heard and Lindsay Crouse are particular standouts, bringing believable chemistry to their relationship as the paper's star reporter and photographer (respectively), struggling to keep their troubled romance separate from their professional lives. Jeff Goldblum provides some of the movie's funniest moments as the paper's cynical music critic. The smaller parts are no less compelling, particularly Bruno Kirby as a naive but ambitious novice writer, Michael J. Pollard as one of the paper's street vendors, and Marilu Henner as a stripper interviewed by Heard and Crouse.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

VHS Vednesday: Crimewave

CRIMEWAVE (1985). Directed by Sam Raimi. Starring Reed Birney, Brion James, and Paul L. Smith.

The second feature from director Sam Raimi, the outlandish screwball comedy Crimewave has been disowned by the filmmaker due to interference from the producers. However, the actual film is quite enjoyable, even if it isn't exactly what Raimi intended it to be.
The first bone of contention between Raimi and the producers was the casting of the lead role; while Raimi wanted his old friend and Evil Dead star Bruce Campbell as the hero, the producers insisted on casting Reed Birney. Much as I love Bruce Campbell, I think the producers had the right idea...Campbell, who exudes confidence without even trying, would have been miscast as the luckless, put-upon schnook. To make up for his losing the lead role, Raimi gave Campbell a scene-stealing supporting part as a smarmy, womanizing cad, which he pulls off with panache.
The story, co-written by Raimi and Joel & Ethan Coen (that's right, those Coen Brothers), concerns Vic Ajax (Birney), a nebbishy employee of a burglar-alarm company who gets mixed up in murder when one of his bosses (producer Edward R. Pressman) hires a pair of "exterminators" to kill his partner. When the two hitmen, rodent-like Coddish (Brion James) and hulking Crush (Paul L. Smith), inadvertantly kill their employer as well ("We'll tell him it's a two-for-one special"), Vic soon finds himself blamed for the murder (as well as numerous others that follow). Vic must fight to save his life, prove his innocence, and win the love of his dream girl (Sheree J. Wilson)--though he doesn't do an especially good job on any of the three counts.
Perhaps the most blatant of Raimi's tributes to The Three Stooges (right down to a cameo by Stooge supporting player Emil Sitka), Crimewave revels in its broad slapstick antics, enlivened by Raimi's flamboyant visual sense. While the creator may not be satisfied with it, I certainly was.
Who's Leaving This Off Their Resume?
Louise Lasser, probably the biggest "name" in the cast at the time, is given surprisingly little opportunity to demonstrate her considerable comedic talents; her biggest scene, in which she flees from Crush through a succession of rooms, is more focused on the Rube-Goldberg mechanics of the chase than on any aspect her performance. However, perhaps the ultimate "leaving it off the resume" appearance goes to young Frances McDormand, in an unspeaking bit part as one of a trio of nuns.


Thursday, September 04, 2008

What I Sang 9-3

"East Bound and Down" in memory of Jerry Reed.

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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

VHS Vednesday: Desperate Prey

DESPERATE PREY (1992). Directed by Danny Vendramini. Starring Claudia Karvan and Catherine McClements.

In this Australian thriller, Claudia Karvan stars as Lucy, a young delinquent engaged in an affair with a prominent attorney named Brewster (Mark Hembrow). When Brewster is killed by a motorcycle-helmeted intruder during one of Lucy's visits, Lucy understandably flees, first grabbing the videotape she had been recording for their liaison. Deciding that her best bet to stay alive is to get police protection, Lucy deliberately gets herself arrested and sent to juvenile hall. However, she soon realizes that she's not safe even in custody, and makes a daring escape, dragging her lawyer Diana Ferraro (Catherine McClements) into her fugitive flight. Initially reluctant, Ferraro soon realizes how much danger Lucy is in, and aids her in trying to both escape and identify the killer.
More or less your standard mismatched-buddy action movie (with the twist of the two buddies being women), Desperate Prey (originally titled Redheads) acknowledges its debt to the formula, even including some dialogue where our heroines try to figure out what TV cops would do in their situation. Apart from such occasional knowing winks, though, it's mostly indistinguishable from any number of action flicks...well-crafted, but unremarkable.
Who's Leaving This Off Their Resume?
While many cast members would be familiar to Australian audiences, lead actress Claudia Karvan is probably the only one that American viewers might recognize, having appeared in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (a brief appearance as Padme's older sister) and Aquamarine (playing JoJo's mother), among other credits. Karvan delivers an amusing performance as the flippant, rebellious anti-heroine, while Catherine McClements balances her out with a solid characterization of the serious-minded half of the duo. Again, the characters are the standard buddy-movie formula, but the appealing cast makes it easier to overlook the cliches.