Fish-Flavored Baseball Bat

It's a John Cleese reference.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Belated Quick Comic Posts

It's been far too long since I've made a bona fide comic-related post, so I'll just ramble on for a little bit on some recent books before I head out to pick up this week's.

Punisher War Journal #4: I find myself somewhat infuriated by this series; the parts that work for me are so enjoyable, that it makes the parts I don't care for that much more galling. I was loving this issue of Stilt-Man's wake...until the ending. There was a lot of nice characterization to all these third-string villains (Princess Python getting jiggy with the Gibbon? Gotta love it)...and then, that ending. Mass slaughter may be what the Punisher does, but it usually helps if his victims actually deserve it. The denouement I would have preferred:

The Masked Marauder staggers into the men's room. As he's going about his business, the Punisher comes up behind him. "The rest of these losers aren't worth my time. I could blow up the whole lot of you, but that'd be a waste of shooting a jaywalker. You're the one I came here for...and if I had any doubts that you were still a threat, your little speech convinced me." Frank Castle effortlessly kills Frank Farnum, while the rest of the mourners carry on unawares. Walking away, the Punisher remarks "I hope YOUR wake brings somebody who's REALLY worth the effort."

Civil War #7: What can I say that hasn't already been said and drawn at Chris' Invincible Super-Blog? Sleestak had a great post and meme about Hercules channelling Lloyd Bentsen, but another thing that bothered me about that scene was Herc using the contemporary casual phrasing "You know something?" in the middle of his usual faux-Shakespearean speech pattern. All in all, it brought to mind a quote from Tony Slattery on the original British "Whose Line Is It Anyway?":

"Well, THAT'S...disappointing..."

Or at least, it would have been if my expectations hadn't already been so diminished.

Shazam!: The Monster Society of Evil #1: Now THIS is how Captain Marvel should be done! (Yeah, I'm looking at you, Winick.)

Welcome to Tranquility #1-3: Quite possibly my favorite Gail Simone book at the moment, and that's saying something. Love the characters...ALL the characters...and the "flashback" re-creations of past comic styles are right on target. (I was particularly amused by #3's dead-on-target tweaking of the Silver Age's casual sexism..."female emotions," indeed!) I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that Ajita pulls through...

52 #42: Alas, poor hero (I know it's been a week, but I'm still a little hesitant to be too specific); I'll miss the guy. Still, there are worse ways to go out than by setting a trap for a couple of the most evil beings in the DC Universe...


Sunday, February 25, 2007

Congratulations Ennio!


What I Sang 2-24

It was a full night at CB South, which made for an eclectic assortment:

"Witch Queen of New Orleans" by Redbone (a few days late for Mardi Gras, but why not?)
"Twilight Zone" by Golden Earring.
"Gee, Officer Krupke" from "West Side Story" (including all the dialogue from the scene!)
"Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz.
"One Week" by Barenaked Ladies.
"Ziggy Stardust" by David Bowie.
"High Noon" by Frankie Laine.


Kids' Jokes for Foolio 2-24

Once again, from this morning's "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime," jokes direct from the mouths of babes (with all the non sequiturs and classic groaners that we love):

"What do you call a sleeping bull?"
"A bulldozer."

"How does Jesus curl his hair?"
"With a bra."

"Why does the cow wake up in the morning with a sleepy head?"
"I don't know, why DOES the cow wake up in the morning with a sleepy head?"
"I don't know."
(Yes, that was it...either the little girl had forgotten the punchline, or it was a genuine inquiry.)

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Is Andy Candy home?"
"Is Andy Candy home who?"
"Because it is I, Captain Vegetable!"

"What kind of keys can you not put in a lock?"
"Piano keys!"

"What did the king say when he was scared?"
"I want my mummy!"

"Why do ducks have such big feet?"
"To stamp out fires."

"Why do skunks have sense?"
"Lots of it, stinky scents!"

"Why do elephants have such big feet?"
"To stamp out burning ducks."

"Whose face is red, yellow, and green?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow."

"Why do gorillas have such big noses?"
"Because they have such big fingers!"

"What do you get with a bug and a dog?"
"A bee-gle!"

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Just Got Back from Doug Dank...

...And I could really go for some spicy waffle-ironed squirrel and a tall glass of Clamclang.

(And no, that sentence wouldn't make sense even if you'd seen the show.)

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Sunday, February 18, 2007

What I Sang 2-17

Didn't have a chance to post earlier, but here's the reponrt on last night's karaoke at CB South. There were several children present in the early part of the night, so I tried to make my first couple of choices somewhat age-appropriate...then one group of four children sang "Superfreak," and I realized that appropriateness was not an issue.

Anyway, here's the rundown:

"Yellow Submarine" by The Beatles.
"The Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog.
"Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone.
"Ballroom Blitz" by The Sweet.


Saturday, February 17, 2007

Dark It Will Be, and Inescapable

In a 180-degree turn of mood, I followed up this morning's "Uncle Grampa" by going to see "Inland Empire." Yes, you can't get a more drastic paradigm shift than going from a kids' puppet show to a David Lynch film. (On the other hand, Foolio did make a "Blue Velvet" reference during "Uncle Grampa," so maybe it's not THAT big a jump.)


I won't pretend that I fully understood it, but I was fascinated throughout the whole three hours, and will be thinking about it for some time to come.

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Kids' Jokes for Foolio 2-17

From today's "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime" (which featured a guest appearance by Mike Schatz as "Mr. Jumps," a boisterous jumpsuited children's'll need to know that for one of the jokes):

"What's red, yellow, green, and about to get a fake mustache?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Lipstick who?"
"Lipstick if you put glue on them."

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo who?"
"Why are you crying? It's just a joke."

"Where did the bee go to use the potty?"
"The BP station!"

"What did Mr. 8 say to Mr. 9?"
"Hey, you are a joker too!"

"What kind of tooth is one dollar?"
"A bucktooth!"

"What's in a red jumpsuit and sings really mediocre?"
"Mr. Jumps!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he got stuck in a corn hen."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7?"
"Because 7 ate 9."

"Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a cornfield?"
"Cause there are ears all around."
(TOPPER: After the kid delivered the punchline, Foolio remarked "Just like in 'Blue Velvet,'" a reference which went completely over the kids' would hope.)

"Where to sheep go to get their hair cut?"
"The baa-baa shop!"

"What do you call a cow that eats grass?"
"A lawn moo-er!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dwayne who?"
"Dwayne the bathtub, I'm drowning!"

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

It's Perfectly Innocent Redux

Okay, I can believe that France Gall was so naive that she didn't "get" what was going on in her innuendelicious "Les Sucettes" video...but she had to have some idea that something wasn't right with this one.

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A Post for One Person

If Johnny is reading this blog, here's an image for you (for potential use as an icon...):

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

What I Sang 2-10

Answering a request from Jessica and DQ, I went out to the Saturday night karaoke at CB South. I only had time for one song, so I decided to pay tribute to a musical great who passed away not too long ago:

"Rawhide" by Frankie Laine. (Unfortunately, YouTube doesn't currently have any clips of Frankie Laine singing this, so here's the Blues Brothers version.)


Saturday, February 10, 2007

Not Even Rip Hunter Knows This

When you enter the timestream, you'll be scratched by time-kittens throughout your journey. It's horrific, yet adorable.

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Kid's Jokes for Foolio 2-10-07

From today's Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime:

"What's brown and sounds like a bell?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Sally who?"
"You have a scary gopher on your head!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Ima who?"
"Ima, aren't you glad I said orange?"

"What does a Viking eat for breakfast?"

"What do you call a turtle when it's snowing?"
"A snowpoke."

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow."
"Interrupting c--"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Alligator who?"
"Snake on your head!"

"Why won't sharks eat Foolio?"
"Because he tastes funny."

"Did you know the alphabet has feelings?"
"I did not know that."
"It has NV."

"Why did the hedgehog go into a ball?"
"To see his mother dance."

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cargo who?"
"Car go beep-beep!" (Okay, so it's the same joke from last week, but a different kid said it.)

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Shark who?"
"Shark on your head!"

(With all the "on your head" jokes, I think I witnessed the birth of a verbal meme.)

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Goodbye, Vickie Lynn

The news was the first thing that came up on my welcome screen when I went online this afternoon. I'm at a loss for words... I'm shocked and stunned, and yet, considering how messed-up her life had been, I can't say that I'm surprised. Very, very sad.

Rest in peace, Anna Nicole.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

A Pointless Pondering

At dinner the other night, it occurred to me...every ketchup (or catsup, whichever spelling you prefer) bottle I've ever seen has read "[insert brand name here] Tomato Ketchup." Which got me there any other kind of ketchup besides tomato? I suppose it's theoretically possible to subject any number of fruits and vegetables to the ketchuping process, but I've never heard of it being done...

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Kid's Jokes for Foolio, 2-3-07

The latest collection of the kids' jokes for Foolio, from today's edition of "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime":

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"There's a monkey on your head!"

"Why do gorillas have big noses?"
"Because they have big fingers!"

"What's green, yellow & red, and is about to be a fruit smoothie?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cargo who?"
"Car go beep-beep!"

"Why did not the skeleton cross the road?"
"Because he didn't have the guts!"

"Why was ten scared?"
"Because seven ate nine."

"What happens when your flying canoe loses its wheels?"
"Purple, because ice cream doesn't have bones."

"Pete and Repeat climbed a tree. Pete came down, who was left?"
"Pete and Repeat climbed a tree..." (and so on and so forth until Foolio freaked out.)

"Why can't kids go to a pirate movie?"
"Because it's rated Arrrr!"

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