Catching Up with Foolio & the Kids

Even though I haven't gotten around to posting them for a few weeks, I've still been dutifully recording the kids' awesome jokes from Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime, so now I'll be making up for lost time. And away we go!

3-29

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To save the world!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Sorry, I don't speak owl language."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"So he could get a donut for the ostrich!"

"Why didn't the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he was chicken!"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?"
"I have no idear."

"Why kind of shoes do you make out of bananas?"
"Slippers!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow."
"Interrup--"
"MOO!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Little old lady."
"Little old lady who?"
"I didn't know you could yodel."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"So it could get hit by a car!"

"When is it a good time to go to the dentist?"
"Tooth hurty!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Don't cry, it's only a crying petition."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because it had to go to the bathroom!"

4-5

"How do you know when a train is eating?"
"It goes 'chew chew'!"

"What kind of jam can you not eat?"
"A traffic jam!"

"Why did the clock go around the town?"
"Because he wanted to go to the dinosaur museum!"

"Why did the dinosaur cross the road?"
"To get to the other side!"

"How do you know when a tree is eating?"
"Because they don't eat anything!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because they don't eat anything!"

"Why did the eagle eat the fish?"
"Because he wanted him for dinner!"

"Why did Foolio cross the road?"
"To get to the trashcan with his jokebook!"

"Because he didn't want to!" (no set-up, just a punchline)

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cow."
"Cow who?"
"No, cow MOO!"

4-12

"Why did the cross cross the road?"
"Because he went on egg!"

"Dinosaurs weren't hit by meteors, they actually bumped into the moon!"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7?"
"Because 7 8 9!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"I don't know!"

"I just flew in from London, and boy, are my arms tired!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say apple?"

"What did the quarter say to the other quarter?"
"Will you marry me, mama goo goo?"

"Why were the stuffed animals at the birthday party not hungry?"
"Because they were stuffed!"

"What happened when the pig was injured?"
"He went in the hambulance!"

"Do you want to hear a construction joke?"
"Sure!"
"Well, I'm still working on it."

"Why did the turkey not want to take a plane to Colorado?"
"Because it was two blocks down the road, duh!"

4-19

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To get a penny out of the floor!"

"Why are bananas never lonely?"
"Because they hang out in bunches!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"T. Rex."
"T. Rex who?"
"T. Rex eat you!"

"What did one duck say to the other?"
"You quack me up!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Tom Sawyer."
"Tom Sawyer who?"
"Tom saw yer underwear!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Volcano."
"Volcano who?"
"Volcano explode!"

"When do you put whipped cream on sauerkraut?"
"At the end of the show!"
(If you've ever seen Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime, you'll understand.)

"How do you make a tissue dance?"
"You put a little boogie in it!"

"Why did the dog cross the road?"
"Because he was jumping on the train!"

"Where do you find a cold pirate?"
At the Arrr-tic!"

"Why do cows go to the movies?"
"Because it's the moo-vies!"

"What does an alien say to a gardener?"
"Take me to your weeder!"

"What do cats say when they get hurt?"
"Me-Ow!"

"Why did Foolio stick his hand in the volcano?"
"To get burned up!"