If You've a Monster to Recommend

Happy Halloween!

So Scary, It Made Me Get Out of My Chair and Do a Dance

Gary Simmons (along with The Strummin' Mummy) will be the guest monologist at tomorrow night's Doug Dank Project. Oooh, scary!

Hey, He's Still Here!

Maybe it's just me, but I always get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I find out that a creator whose work I haven't seen in years (and hadn't even thought about for almost as long) is still alive and active. That's why I was pleasantly surprised to notice something about the mazes featured in the comics section of Atlanta's generally-unremarkable free weekly Sunday Paper:

Did you notice it, too? Copyright 2007 Tony Tallarico. Tony-freakin'-Tallarico! The guy who drew Charlton's Blue Beetle, and Dell's notorious Dracula and Frankenstein super-hero comics (hence my choice of these particular scans).

Keep it up, Tony! Glad to see you're still keeping busy.

What I Sang 10/27

It was a Halloween weekend bonanza for me at CB South last night...

"Monster Mash" by Bobby 'Boris' Pickett.
"Dead Man's Party" by Oingo Boingo.
"Witch Queen of New Orleans" by Redbone.
"The Blob" by The Five Blobs.
"Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie.
"Ballad of Dwight Fry" by Alice Cooper.

Kids' Jokes for Foolio: Halloween Edition

Well, I've had a pretty busy day (and it's not over yet). This morning, Dad's Garage had their Halloween edition of Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime, with many of the kids coming in costume...including an awesome "Bride of Foolio" outfit worn by Allie, one of our most reliable regular patrons.

As usual, the kids brought their own jokes to outdo Foolio:

"Why was the castle free?"
"Because it was a candle!"

"Why did Luigi go to school?"
"Because he had pizzeria!" (a misremembering of one of last month's jokes)

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because he wanted to go to sleep!"

"Why did the jump rope cross the road?"
"To get to the other slide!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"I didn't know you were an owl!"

"What do you call a flying skunk?"
"A stink-copter!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Ouch."
"Ouch who?"
"OUCH!"

"What do you call a bee who buzzes all around?"
"Busby!"

"Where does Darth Vader go to the mall?"
"Darth Mall!"

"Why did the eyeball fly?"
"To get to the other eyeball store!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Chicken."
"Chicken who?"
"Chicken got run over by a car!"

"Why weren't the pirate kids allowed in the movie theater?"
"Because it was rated Arrrr!"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter?"
"Arrrr!"


But Uncle Grampa wasn't the end of the Halloween festivities...from there, I went to the Plaza Theater for the matinee Silver Scream Spook Show, a monthly event showcasing classic B-movie fare (this month's offering: the legendary "Plan 9 from Outer Space") preceded by live entertainment by Professor Morte, Retch, and the rest of Morte's gang. There were a number of kids who came in costume...including the Bride of Foolio once again! Great fun for all. (One of my favorite parts: A dance number to a song that went "You're the coolest monster that ever spooked me out." Wish I knew who sang it...Google didn't help.)

And now, on to CB South for some Halloween karaoke...

Musings on Death (The Character, not the Fact of Life)

Just to expand on my last idea from a previous post: I wouldn't like to see a published story with Death of the Endless meeting one of DC's established characters at the end of their lives...it would take Gaiman himself, or another writer on his wavelength (and there are damn few of those), to pull that off without coming across as a cheap stunt. On the other hand, it's fun to imagine that final encounter. Witness Bully's envisioning of Booster Gold's post-final moments (even though it turned out Booster was not quite as dead as he appeared).

Another thought about Death: While she's been friendly, supportive, and sympathetic to everyone she's met, I can't recall there ever being a scene where she's taken a genuinely bad person. I don't think she would treat them differently (she's not judgmental), but it does raise the question...what exactly would she say to an evil person while still being true to herself? What did she say to Everyman?

Also, it's been established that the Endless' trademark "looks" are influenced by the viewer's perceptions...Nada saw Dream with African features (though his skintone remained the same), and J'Onn J'Onzz saw him as a Martian diety. Their clothing is also generally suited to the mortals' perceptions, for instance, Death's dress (which was probably as casual for its era as the goth outfit is today) in the first Hob Gadling story. On the other hand, Scott saw Dream as we do, and not in a Kirbyesque costume, so Barda undoubtedly met the Death we're all familiar with.

But what about the aliens of the DC Universe? With all those casualties in the Sinestro Corps war, there must be thousands of variations, with each species/culture meeting their equivalent of a "gothette." It would certainly make for an interesting artistic experiment to visualize the endless looks of Death...me, I just can't help but smile when I imagine how she appeared to Ch'p when she met him.

What I Sang 10-20

Tonight at CB South, a little tribute to Big Barda:

"The Warrior" by Scandal.
"Invincible" by Pat Benatar.

Kids' Jokes for Foolio, 10-20

Today's assortment of jokes from the kids at Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime:

"What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?"
"Time to get a new fence!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Root beer."
"Root beer who?"
"Oh no! The flowers in America are getting drunk!"

"Why did the dog chew the wallet?"
"Because he wanted to eat it all day long."

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cargo."
"Cargo who?"
"Car go beep-beep!"

"What time is it when Foolio looks in the mirror?"
"Time to get a new mirror!"

"Why did the pig get fired?"
"Because his name was Porkchop!"

"Why did Foolio get stomped on by an elephant?"
"Because the elephant wanted to!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Leaf."
"Leaf who?"
"Leaf us alone, Foolio!"

"What time is it when you look into the ship?"
"Because it's time to look in the castle!"

Friday Night Fights: Barda Remembered

Now this is what Big Barda was like: No, you bumbling hams, nothing could take the fight out of her.

(I didn't have a copy of Mr. Miracle #4 handy to scan myself, so my apologies and acknowledgment to Sleestak for poaching the panel from his post.)

(And Bahlactus wields a mean Mega-Rod himself...)

Good Idea/Bad Idea

(With apologies to Animaniacs, and to all the other blogs that have made these points in more detail.)

Good idea:
The Hunger Dogs.

Bad idea:
The Death of the New Gods.

Good idea:
If you have to kill a character who's a fierce and skilled warrior...dying valiantly in combat against overwhelming odds in a climactic battle.

Bad idea:
Being murdered...off-panel...in the kitchen.

Good idea:
Earth-3 having a heroic version of the Joker.

Bad idea:
Killing him off almost immediately after his introduction.

Bad idea:
Any version of the Joker whose grin is an actual Glasgow Smile.

Phenomenally bad idea:
The Joker's first words to Batman being "Bunny!"

Good idea:
A bunny (and his crew) getting a new mini-series.

Interesting idea:
A respected novelist doing a revival of a semi-obscure cult character from the '70s.

So far, seemingly pointless idea:
The first issue of said revival being an almost exact rewrite of the original first issue.

Better idea:
Giving Steve Gerber and Mary Skrenes a chance to finish Omega the Unknown the way they want.

Bad idea:
Ending the Green Arrow/Black Canary wedding with a "shock ending" cliffhanger of Dinah killing Ollie.

Bad idea:
The tired "Oh, it was actually Everyman" twist. (Can that revelation even be called a twist anymore?)

Good idea:
Killing Everyman.

Good idea:
All giants are magic (simultaneously acknowledging and sidestepping the Square-Cube law).

Generally bad idea:
Fill-in issues.

Good idea:
Roger Stern writing an Atom story that so perfectly captures the spirit and style of the series that I didn't even realize it wasn't Gail Simone until I went back and read the credits after finishing the story.

Bad idea:
Double Down. (Seriously, is there anything to this guy apart from the pseudo-Clive Barker imagery?)

Good idea:
The death of any DC Universe character can be improved by imagining Neil Gaiman's Death meeting said character.

What I Sang 10/13

Last night, I was still riding the wave of good feelings from Dana & Chris' engagement Thursday night, so my selections were all about the love. (And it was a slow night, so I managed to fit in more songs than usual...)

"Love & Marriage" by Frank Sinatra.
"All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles.
"The Look of Love" by ABC.
"Love Is All Around" by Wet Wet Wet. (They didn't have The Troggs' version listed.)
"Wear Your Love Like Heaven" by Donovan.
"I Love You Love Me Love" by Gary Glitter. (Sure, Glitter's a despicable excuse for a human being, but it's still a kicky song.)
"Love Is Thicker Than Water" by Andy Gibb.

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 10/13

Today's collection of jokes from the kids:

"Why did the jump rope kiss the jump rope?"
"Because it gets candy!"

"Why did the chicken get the leg?"
"Because he was asleep in his bed!"

"Where do boats go when they get sick?"
"To the dock!"

"What did the person say to the bed?"
"I sleep on you!"

"Why do cars crash into doors?"
"Because they get fooled by the doors!"

"What is brown & sticky?"
"A stick!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Soccer player."
"Soccer player who?"
"Soccer player just made a goal!"

"What's black and white and red all over?"
"A sunburned zebra!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Eyeball full of slime."
"Eyeball full of slime who?"
"Eyeball full of slime from the slime planet!"

"What do you call Larry when he doesn't take a bath?"
"Stinkerbell!"
(We learned after the show that the kid had actually said "What do you call a fairy when...", and that Gary Simmons misquoted him when repeating the joke for the house. Still...)

"What do you call a person who tells a lot of jokes?"
"The Joker!"

"Why do people eat hot dogs?"
"Because they don't eat animals!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
(all together now) "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Friday Night Fights: Hippy Hippy Shake-Up

I have to participate in Friday Night Fights, but I'm still so blissed-out from last night's outpouring of love at Dad's Garage. How can I think of fights when love is all around me (and so the feeling grows)? I just have to ask myself, "What Would David Angar Do?"

(Bahlactus can feel the love tonight...)

Love Is Awesome

By definition, the unexpected is a major element of improv...but never before moreso than tonight's "Night School" show at Dad's Garage. Tonight, Chris proposed to Dana live on stage...a genuine, honest-to-God proposal, not a gag or a sketch. I am so glad I was there to see it...best of luck to the happy couple!

Of course, that was a tough act to follow for the improvisers in the second half of the show...

What I Sang 10/6

"'65 Love Affair" by Paul Davis.
"A View to a Kill" by Duran Duran.
"Live and Let Die" by Paul McCartney & Wings.

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 10/6

Today's installment of the kids' jokes for Foolio (or should I say "Foolios," considering that Stevie Weasel got infected by the Foolio Virus)...

"Why did the jump-rope go in the jump-rope?"
"Because they want to go 'jump-jump-jump-jump-jump-ja-jump...'" (In honor of this week's visitor, Mr. Jumps.)

"Why did the man get the leg?"
"Because he was asleep on the bed!"

"We want to do a play called 'Foolio and the Death of the Foolio Virus.'"

"Why did the orange roll halfway down the hill?"
"Because it ran out of juice!"

"Why did the banana go fruit?"
"Because it was fruit!"

"What wears lipstick and is a big fat cow?"
"Foolio!"

"Why did the dad throw the clock out the window?"
"Because he wanted to see time fly!"

"What do clams sing at Christmas?"
"Jingle Shells!"

"Why did the dad throw the dinosaur out the window?"
"Because he wanted to see it bonk its head on the ground!"

Wendigoin' Gets Tough

I just found out what the Wendigo gets up to when it's not eating human flesh or teaming up with the Abomination...



Now that's evil.

(In all seriousness, I thought the icon's transformation from cute to demonic was pretty effective, and this is an important topic...but the fact that they used the name "Wendigo" left me unable to resist the opportunity for a terrible pun.)

Uncle Lumpy is a Frickin' Genius

While most of the blogs and sites I visit are primarily focused on comic books, I also check out a number of fun places devoted to comic strips. Of these, my favorite is The Comics Curmudgeon, full of the funniest, snarkiest commentary on just about all the strips out there. Usually, I just have a laugh, occasionally post a comment, and that's about it...but reading today's Curmudgeon, one comment stood out so brilliantly I just had to make a post here to direct your attention to it.

I'm referring to Uncle Lumpy's scathing poem dissecting the recent, drawn-out "death of Lisa" storyline in Funky Winkerbean. Wow.