Fish-Flavored Baseball Bat

It's a John Cleese reference.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The Death of Superman-Prime

This is not speculation on when or how it will happen (though I'm pretty sure it'll be soon)...just a little flight of fancy as to what happens afterwards.

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"You think that can stop me, you idiots? Nothing can stop me! I'm SUPERMAN!"

"They did stop you, Clark."

He turned towards the soft, gentle voice beside him, and was surprised to see a petite, pale woman. The whiteness of her skin stood in sharp contrast to her wild, ebony mop of hair and her ensemble--black camisole, black leather belt, black pants, black boots, offset only by the gleaming silver ankh pendant around her neck. More surprising than her sudden appearance, though, was the way she carried herself. He had grown accustomed to looks of terror or unbridled fury...but this woman was smiling casually.

Instinctively, he knew what she was...no, who she was. And yet, he still couldn't quite bring himself to accept it.

"I'm not dead," he insisted, "and you're not Death. Death is supposed to be a skeleton in a robe and hood. You don't even have a scythe!"

She had occasionally heard this before, but most spoke these words with relief or bemusement. This time, though, there was a tone of whiny, bitter petulance, as though this were simply one more way the universe had failed to meet his preconceptions.

"I tried a scythe once," she chuckled. "I met a farmer who let me borrow his. It was pretty awkward, and I couldn't quite get the hang of it...but it was fun."

"Wait a minute," he protested. "Death isn't supposed to smile! Unless..." a glimmer came to his eyes as he drew upon his knowledge of this comic-book world. "I get it! The white skin, the completely opposite behavior...you've got to be Bizarro-Death!"

She laughed out loud. "Wow, I never heard that one before! I've got to tell that to my sis...she'll really appreciate it."

"Great, even Death is laughing at me," he pouted. "Why should I be surprised? Everyone hates me."

"Oh," she said, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder, "I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone."

"Why were they all against me? All I wanted was to bring back the real world."

"Clark," she said, "I know how easy it can be to think that yours was the only real world, and the rest were only imaginary...stories...but believe me, they're all real." She looked directly in his eyes. "And I meet everybody on every single one of them."

"You're judging me," he snapped. "I thought you said you didn't hate me! You're just another liar, just like everyone else in these messed-up universes."

"Oh, Clark," she smiled. "I wasn't lying. But sometimes, being a friend means calling you on your bullshit."

For once, he could muster no response to this.

"Ready?" she asked.

He nodded sullenly.

"Clark," she said as she took his hand, "I'm sorry you never got to grow up."

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Musings on Death (The Character, not the Fact of Life)

Just to expand on my last idea from a previous post: I wouldn't like to see a published story with Death of the Endless meeting one of DC's established characters at the end of their lives...it would take Gaiman himself, or another writer on his wavelength (and there are damn few of those), to pull that off without coming across as a cheap stunt. On the other hand, it's fun to imagine that final encounter. Witness Bully's envisioning of Booster Gold's post-final moments (even though it turned out Booster was not quite as dead as he appeared).

Another thought about Death: While she's been friendly, supportive, and sympathetic to everyone she's met, I can't recall there ever being a scene where she's taken a genuinely bad person. I don't think she would treat them differently (she's not judgmental), but it does raise the question...what exactly would she say to an evil person while still being true to herself? What did she say to Everyman?

Also, it's been established that the Endless' trademark "looks" are influenced by the viewer's perceptions...Nada saw Dream with African features (though his skintone remained the same), and J'Onn J'Onzz saw him as a Martian diety. Their clothing is also generally suited to the mortals' perceptions, for instance, Death's dress (which was probably as casual for its era as the goth outfit is today) in the first Hob Gadling story. On the other hand, Scott saw Dream as we do, and not in a Kirbyesque costume, so Barda undoubtedly met the Death we're all familiar with.

But what about the aliens of the DC Universe? With all those casualties in the Sinestro Corps war, there must be thousands of variations, with each species/culture meeting their equivalent of a "gothette." It would certainly make for an interesting artistic experiment to visualize the endless looks of Death...me, I just can't help but smile when I imagine how she appeared to Ch'p when she met him.

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