Six Degrees of Bacon

I'll be at Dad's Garage pretty much the whole day today...first for Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime, and then sticking around for their fundraiser: BaconFest.

Six hours. Four bands. 6,000 (or was it 8?) slices of bacon.

It'll be cholesterrific.

Appreciating What You've Still Got

The unfortunate number of comics greats that we've lost in recent months (Dave Cockrum, Arnold Drake, Bob Oksner, Marshall Rogers) got me thinking: I should pay tribute to some of my favorite creators while they're still around to appreciate the sentiment. Here, then, is my salute to some of my favorite creators who are still with us.

In no particular order:

George Tuska.
Russ Heath.
Murphy Anderson.
Nick Cardy.
John Severin.
Marie Severin.
Dan Spiegle.
Irwin Hasen.
Herb Trimpe.
Jerry Grandenetti.
Jim Mooney.
Fred Fredericks.

Great ones, one and all.

Damn.

Marshall Rogers, 1950-2007.

I had the pleasure of meeting him at a convention about 15 years ago, and he struck me as a really nice guy. I got a hilarious sketch from him of Pip the Troll. (Why Pip? Why not?)

I'm really too bummed out to say anything more...

What I Sang 3-24

My tunes from last night at CB South:

"Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants
"Wonderwall" by Oasis.
"88 Lines About 44 Women" by The Nails.

Kids' Jokes for Foolio, 3-24

We had a very fun "Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Storytime" today, featuring the return of the Timekittens and the introduction of Mack Blustache and his black mustache (quite possibly the most inappropriate character to ever be featured in a kids' show...and I mean that in a good way).

Anyway, here are the kids' contributions to today's show:

"What has a face & stomach that's purple, and an eye that's dyed blue?"
"Foolio!"

"What did the porcupine say to the cactus?"
"Are you my mother?"

"Is that a hat on your head? It got yellow!"

"Why did an ox sit on a cockroach?"
"Because the ox has a pierced ear!"

"What's green and red and goes 100 miles an hour?"
"A fly on a windshield!"

"What has four legs and can't walk?"
"A table!"

"What is a parrot's favorite TV station?"
"The Feather Channel!"

"Where do cows go to have fun?"
"To the moo-vies!"

"Why does a fox talk to a pinecone?"
"Because!"

What I Sang 3-19

Another late night with friends at the Star Bar:

"Little Willy" by The Sweet.
"Blood and Roses" by The Smithereens. (Actually, the Smithereens' version isn't currently on YouTube, so the link will take you to a cover version.)

Four More Things You Should Always Remember...

What Thor Sang

My participation in a recently-started meme courtesy of Dave's Long Box (apologies to The Beatles):

What I Sang: St. Patrick's Day Edition

Last night, I observed St. Patrick's Day at CB South by singing only tunes from Irish bands:

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2.
"The Boys Are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzie.
"Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out of" by U2.
"Linger" by The Cranberries.

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 3-17

Today's gems from the kids:

"How can a horse herd a man?"
"Because he has sharp paws."

"What's the stupidest school in the world?"
"Green River!"
(okay, so that one was either a bit of school rivalry, or a complaint from a disgruntled pupil, in the guise of a joke...)

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Irish."
"Irish who?"
"Irish you were dead right now, Foolio!"

"What is a boxer's favorite drink?"
"Punch!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Turtle."
"Turtle who?"
"Turtle, have you ever seen a cow eating a turtle?"

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?"
"'Cause he had no guts."

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Why are you crying?"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cargo."
"Cargo who?"
"Cargo beep-beep!"

"How do you make a milkshake?"
"Give it a good scare!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Beep beep."
"Beep beep who?"
"Beep beep beep beep beep!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Turtle huzzin."
"Turtle huzzin who?"
"Beep beep!"

"What is green all over?"
"Foolio!"

"What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?"
"Frosted flakes!"

"How did the horse cross the road?"
"Because it was too silly to stop!"

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Is it wrong that my favorite Irish song (from one of my two favorite Irish movies*) is sung by a Scottish actor?



*the other being "The Quiet Man."

Another Memorial

After my post on Arnold Drake's passing, a friend e-mailed me to inform me of the death of another cool, crazy fun guy: moviemaker (not "filmmaker") Andy Sidaris. His works were perhaps the ultimate "guy movies": Gorgeous women in bikinis (or usually less), guns a-plenty, and LOTS of explosions. Yes, they were pure exploitation, and never pretended to be anything else...but you could tell that everyone involved was having a good time. (And for all the flesh on display, Sidaris' heroines were always presented as capable, competent agents.) I kind of lost interest in the Sidaris series after the Dona Spier/Roberta Vasquez team was phased out (let's face it, Roberta Vasquez was the hotness), and hadn't thought about his movies in a long time, but those happy adolescent-minded memories just came flooding back.

If it's cheesy to pay tribute to the man using the format of a recently-revived meme, then so be it...it's just meant in the spirit of fun, and I got the impression that fun was something he always appreciated. So, always remember:

RIP Arnold Drake

We've lost another of the under-appreciated greats of the comics industry: Arnold Drake died yesterday morning at the age of 83. I can't think of much to say that hasn't already been said brilliantly in Mark Evanier's memorial bio-piece or Chris Sims' appreciation of The Doom Patrol (my favorite of Drake's books...and indeed, my favorite super-hero team ever). Drake's creative ideas and wacky, clever dialogue continue to blow my mind.

In addition to his comics work, Drake also enthralled me with his 1964 horror movie "The Flesh Eaters"...it was practically a Doom Patrol story without the Doom Patrol (but with a hip-talking beatnik named Omar, which is almost as good). Savor the trailer (after sitting through the host's intro):


(You might want to stop the clip after the "Flesh Eaters" trailer ends...the host's "Hot Zombie Action" countdown afterwards is Not Safe For Work. Use your own judgment.)

I really wish the Drake-scripted thriller "Who Killed Teddy Bear?" was available on DVD...can you imagine that trademark Arnold Drake dialogue in the hands of Sal Mineo, Juliet Prowse, and Elaine Stritch?

Always Remember...

(A meme I missed the first time around, but have just now discovered thanks to Chris Sims...)

What I Sang 3-10

My tunes for tonight:

"More Than a Feeling" by Boston (Rest in Peace, Brad Delp!)
"Gold" by John Stewart (not the Green Lantern...although it would be cool to see GL John Stewart singing).

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 3-10

Today's assortment of jokes from the kids:

"What has a pink & yellow & red & black face? And a green face? And his name is Foolio?"

"Two tomatoes are going down the street, and one's going fast and one's going slow. The fast one looks back and sees the slow one dragging behind. The fast one slaps the slow one and what does he say? 'Catch up!'" (Let's just hope that that kid didn't hear the joke from Uma Thurman...)

"What's an elephant's favorite game?"
"Squash!"

"What is a tree's favorite drink?"
"Root beer!"

"What do small children ride in?"
"A mini-van!"

"Where does a cow go to the jungle gym?"
"In the jungle!"

"What is a baby and Hannah worth together?"
"My sister's name is Baby Hannah."

"Why does an alligator bite a snake?"
"Because it turned into a turtle."

"What did the envelope say to the stamp?"
"Stick with me and we'll go places!"

It Is Nothing At All

I've always wanted an excuse to post this, and since we had a little rain earlier this morning, that's as good a reason as any. (Get it? Rain? Waters of March?)



Another thought: If anybody reading this has the video-editing skills to do it, wouldn't it be cool to make a video set to the English-language version of the song, using scans of various comic scenes to illustrate each item on the list? (Of course, the perfect visual for the line "It's a trap" would be Admiral Ackbar...)

What I Sang 3-5

Yes, it was a late night tonight...I hadn't been to the Star Bar for karaoke in quite some time, but decided to stop in. Wound up staying later than I expected because I ran into a few old friends I hadn't seen in a long time (and as if hanging out and catching up with old times wasn't enough, Aileen's incredible rendition of "Hurt" was well worth staying up late).

My song for the evening:

"Moonlight Shadow" by Mike Oldfield. (You gotta appreciate the irony of such a sweet-sounding easy-listening tune...about a tragic murder.)

What I Sang 3-3

"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" by Monty Python.
"Man on the Moon" by R.E.M.

Kids' Jokes for Foolio 3-3

Today's selection of jokes from the kids (with a heavy dose aimed directly at Foolio himself):

"What wears lipstick every single day every time I see it?"
"Foolio!"

"How do you fix a tuba?"
"With a tuba toothpaste!"

"What's green, yellow & red, and is about to be shot by a rocket launcher?"
"Foolio!"

"What's hideous and shouldn't even be on the earth today?"
"Foolio!"

"What did the strawberry say to the lemon?"
"You don't have my strawberry juice; I have your lemon juice!"

OLD STANDBY ALERT:
"Pete and Repeat go up a tree. Pete came down, who was left?"
"Repeat."
"Pete and Repeat go up a tree..." (et cetera, et cetera)

"What did the eye say to the other eye?"
"Don't look now, but between us, something smells."

52 Spoiler

Some advice that Osiris should have heeded: