Fish-Flavored Baseball Bat

It's a John Cleese reference.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Refresh My Memory #3

Here's another half-remembered horror tale from my youth:

A bad guy is holding a young boy hostage. (I can't remember whether he was a kidnapper, or a burglar who had broken into the house and found the boy alone.) I really can't recall anything of the set-up of the story, but I remember the ending vividly. The bad guy put a knife up to the boy's throat, as the clock struck twelve. Cut to an exterior shot of the house, with a scream coming from inside. Then we see the boy's parents arriving and reacting in horror...to the sight of their son, safe and sound in his lupine form, blood dripping from his mouth, in the middle of a bloody mess that they'll have to clean up. The boy apologetically says "Sorry, mommy, but you know how hungry I get at midnight." And as if that wasn't enough of a twist ending, there's an additional kicker: The parents have tiny little bat-wings sticking out of their backs, and the father says to the upset mother: "Now, dear, you know he can't help it that he's a werewolf and not a vampire like us!"

I'm pretty sure that I saw this story in one of Marvel's '70s horror-reprint books (like Chamber of Chills or Weird Wonder Tales), rather than a Warren magazine. Does this ring any bells for anyone out there?

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Refresh My Memory #2

Here's another half-remembered horror tale I'm hoping you can help me remember:

The story is about a little boy with a beloved pet...a beloved pet blob. The creature is named "Spot" or "Fido" or something equally innocuous. Everything's fine until one day when the blob starts eating people. (I remember specifically that it got the Avon Lady when she rang the doorbell.) The boy is informed that his pet will have to be destroyed (just like Old Yeller), but he won't hear of it. The boy finally finds the blob (who had run away) and breaks down in tears. The boy's father joins him and assures him that everything's all right: "Sometimes pets just get a little touchy...just before they have puppies!" And the father holds out a handful of writhing mini-blobs.

I'm pretty sure the story was illustrated by either Richard Corben or Berni Wrightson. (Not that they're similar, but they're both masters of the kind of grotesque imagery featured in this story.)

So, anybody else remember this?

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Refresh My Memory

In an effort to blog more often, and to have more comics content, I've decided to start an occasional feature dedicated to the half-remembered stories of my youth, in the hopes that somebody out there can fill in the gaps.

A bit of background: When I was very young, we had a family friend with a very large comics collection, and he would let me read them. Sadly, he passed away at a pretty young age (lung cancer), and most of his collection was given to me. (It would probably be incredibly valuable, if it weren't for the fact that, generally speaking, a 7-year-old has no clue how to take care of comics...) I say "most" of the collection...I got his super-hero books, but the horror titles (Warren and otherwise) were kept away from my tender little mind. Unfortunately, I had already read many of them, and there are many vague grotesqueries etched in my brain.

So, to pin down these partially-forgotten horrors, I'll share my best recollections of them. Hopefully, there's somebody out there who knows what I'm talking about...and if not, I hope you'll be entertained by my vague reconstructions.

To start off:

I remember a story that began with a man waking up surrounded by robed, chanting women. A metal ring had been placed around his neck, and as the women chanted, it slowly began to shrink, eventually strangling him. Then, the story introduced the protagonist, who was trying to find out what had happened to the guy in the opening sequence. (Was he a reporter, a detective, or just a friend of the first guy? That, I don't remember.) In the end, our hero found himself in the coven's clutches, with the same metal ring around his neck. As the chanting began and the ring began to shrink, we got the shock ending...a shot of the hero's girlfriend among the women, with the caption: "[Whatever her name was] was among them, and she was crying."

So...ring any bells?

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